My daughter recently turned 28. It reminded me of the challenges of being a young parent. I was 25, and married when I gave birth to her and 29 when I had her brother. What could I possibly know about parenthood and being a mom? The pressure of being and having all the answers, and of knowing ‘what I wanted to be’ was not only overwhelming but the source of most of my anxiety. However, through these experiences, there are valuable lessons to be learned. Here are four crucial insights I gained as a parent with anxiety, which I hope will encourage other young moms to use their experiences as sources of strength, inspiration, and motivation to create their most abundant selves.
Lesson 1: Anxiety as a Tool and Informant
I used to be the type of parent who would walk into the house and immediately go "ham" if anything was out of place—dishes in the sink, shoes on the floor, crumbs on the counter. This intense reaction stemmed from the stress of the day and repressed emotions. I wasn't living in my truth, nor was I able to take breaks during the day to do what I loved. This led to burnout, the expectations of others weighing heavily on me, and feelings of being overwhelmed, disrespected, and unappreciated.
Anxiety can act as a powerful informant, highlighting areas in our lives where we're not living authentically or caring for ourselves adequately. When anxiety flares up, it's a signal that something within us needs attention. It's crucial to recognize this and use anxiety as a tool to understand and address the underlying issues.
Lesson 2: Fill Your Own Cup
As a young mom, it's essential to fill your own cup. Children develop their emotional intelligence by observing their mothers. When they see you happy and fulfilled, they learn the importance of self-care. Make time for your hobbies, take breaks, and check in with your energy levels regularly. By doing so, you create a sanctuary within yourself that remains unshaken by external chaos. When you are at peace, you can handle life's little messes with grace and composure.
Lesson 3: Find Your Own Hobbies and Leisure Time
Parenthood doesn’t mean losing your identity. In fact, maintaining your individuality is vital. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's painting, reading, gardening, or any other hobby, these moments of leisure are not just a luxury—they're a necessity. They recharge your spirit and provide a healthy escape from daily stress. By prioritizing your own happiness, you model for your children the importance of self-care and pursuing passions.
Lesson 4: Check Your Own Energy
Your energy levels directly impact your ability to parent effectively. Constantly running on empty can lead to burnout and increased anxiety. Regularly checking in with yourself helps you stay attuned to your needs. If you're feeling drained, take action to replenish your energy. This might mean asking for help, taking a nap, or simply sitting quietly for a few moments. By ensuring your energy is balanced, you become a more patient, present, and loving parent.
If you're ready to take charge of your anxiety and transform it into a source of strength, start by acknowledging its presence and purpose in your life. Embrace self-care, set boundaries, and pursue your passions. Remember, your well-being directly influences your children’s emotional development. By filling your own cup, you not only become a better parent but also inspire your children to do the same for themselves.
Take the first step today. Download my free PDF, "The Four Horsemen Trigger Method," which outlines the four areas where you’re most likely to be triggered and provides a free mini-training video with three steps to begin healing yourself. Let's journey together toward a more abundant, peaceful, and fulfilling life.
Embrace your anxiety as a guide, fill your cup with love and care, and watch as you and your children thrive in emotional intelligence and happiness.
There's an incoming class in July. Only 5 slots available so click the button below to book a discovery call to discuss what you are struggling with most and how the BodyFlow Method can support.
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