Comparison is the thief of joy.
Recently, I found myself caught in a comparison trap. After scrolling through social media, I felt a pang of FOMO and started attaching those feelings to my limiting beliefs. This led me down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts:
What I don’t have.
What’s missing from my life.
What’s not fair.
How does it need to look?
The list goes on, and I’m sure I’m not alone.
We sabotage our own joy daily through comparison, judgment, and fear. Unfortunately, social media opens Pandora’s box with constant reminders of flashy teeth, flashy clothes, and flashy lifestyles. We know the cliché that all that glitters isn’t gold, but even the best of us can get caught up in the loop.
This generation of youth builds their identity around what they see on social media. The problem has become so pervasive that many parents and organizations have begun taking a stand as social media threatens to disregard child safety and alters mental health.
I even learned of a class action lawsuit filed against Instagram and Facebook called the ‘Social Media Addiction’ lawsuit. Young lives are derailed by the side effects of the comparison trap, leading to depression and anxiety.
Some organizations are promoting ‘no social media on Fridays’ to encourage kids to get back outdoors, interact with peers, cultivate real connections, and get involved through movement and other mindfulness activities.
Our brain is wired for survival, not comfort.
There is a biochemical factor that causes the brain to look for connection. The reticular system is activated to see similarities. You know the one which causes you to see whatever you pay attention to, whether good or bad (look for white cars, and you'll begin to notice only white cars). The brain is a primal machine taught to walk, tie shoes and learn a new language through repeated action.
To rewire the brain requires intentionality. The brain does NOT want to change. It loves comfort and will sabotage you from experiencing true joy by telling your mind that a new action is too hard, not necessary, or takes too much effort.
One way you can change the function of your brain is by the application of these three words: Breathe, Affirm, Gratitude.
Simply put: Before you grab your phone, GRAB THE B.A.G.
B - Breathe😮💨
Our breath is, in fact, the only thing we cannot live without. Its sustaining power oxygenates the blood, muscles, and organs. It is the life force. Taking a few cleansing breaths upon rising not only signals to the brain that you’re alert but activates growth hormones, stress hormones, and the hormones that regulate joy. A popular Bible scripture says, "Joy comes in the morning." It’s a figurative statement that indicates how our brain resets every morning. We choose the direction of our thoughts and attention. Wake up and BREATHE.
A - Affirmation🙌🏾
Repeating statements of truth conditions, the brain and subconscious mind to believe. It’s the same as listening to a popular song. At first, you may not like it, but after repetition and hearing small segments, it begins to ‘grow on you’. The brain is a supercomputer, able to make associations and connections to sounds, vibrations, and frequencies in milliseconds. Positive affirmations in the early morning hours and prior to bedtime when the brain is in an Alpha state give greater access to the subconscious mind. Regular positive affirmations are key components to overwhelming feelings of joy.
G - Gratitude🤗
Have you ever tried to complain and be thankful at the same time? It is impossible. Gratitude is the brain and body’s superpower. It allows the brain and body system to recalibrate. Gratitude releases endorphins and oxytocin into the bloodstream. Visualization of positive outcomes along with gratitude increases joy. There will be challenges, changes, and chaos, but finding the silver lining guarantees that trouble won’t always last. There is joy in the journey.
Conclusion
In our fast-paced, social media-driven world, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison and lose sight of our own joy. By being intentional about your thoughts and actions, you can rewire your brain to focus on positivity and gratitude. Breathing deeply, affirming your worth, and practicing gratitude daily can help you break free from the cycle of comparison and truly enjoy your lives.
If you’re ready to take charge of your happiness and mental well-being, grab my free PDF, "The Four Horsemen Trigger Method," which lists the four areas where you’re most likely to be triggered. It also includes a free mini-training video with three steps you can take to begin healing today. Embrace your journey to joy and start living your most abundant life.
The next class begins in July. 💃🏾 Click here to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call.
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